The youth, gawd bless ‘um, it’s rough out there.

*Sorry to be MIA. Yesterday we ran into an emergency, which tossed all thoughts of hitting ‘publish’ aside. So here is the post I meant to put up yesterday, but didn’t.

Sometimes a potential post has to do everything short of smacking you upside the head before you write it. Today’s topic, for example, has been poking me for the past week, and finally bitch slapped me last night.

Let me preface this post by stating what most of you already know – I am not a parent. However, many of you are. And some of you are parents to teen or preteen daughters. I’m interested to hear your thoughts on the state of young girls today.

For whatever reason, the topic of youth is one that keeps coming up repeatedly in my world. Specifically, young girls. It started when my husband and I were discussing teen pregnancy, and the fact that, though we grew up in different states, both us lived in areas with high numbers of teen pregnancies. A couple days later we had cocktails with some friends. They have two teenage daughters, and from what I can tell, the girls are pretty awesome and unaffected. No sweatpants with juicy written across the ass for these two, and they genuinely seem to love spending time with their family. That’s a bit of a rarity. Personally, when I was a teen I completely tuned out my folks, and I see kids do it all the time.

Last night I read a brief article discussing Caitlin Flanagan’s new collection of essays, Girl Land, which examines girls growing up today (If you are familiar with Flanagan’s work, then you know she has raised ire in feminist circles. Many feel she writes with a sense of superiority and also that she’s a big ole hypocrite, because she works from home and has a nanny – I haven’t read enough of her work to know if she’s a hypocrite or not).

The author of the article about Girl Land, however, is another writer, Cathi Hanauer. I’m not saying I agree with Flanagan’s work, but I do disagree with Hanauer. She writes that she doesn’t feel American girls growing up today have it worse than women of previous generations. With all due respect, Mrs. Hanauer, are you freaking serious?

Yes, girls today are coming of age with the right to vote, in theory have equality in the workplace, access to birth control (sort of, I don’t necessarily think Hanauer is right on that one – there are many things to factor into access, like the city/state a girl resides in, etc.). But you know what? So did I. And I can guaran-damn-tee I did not have nearly as many things going on in my world as youngins today.

Here were the issues when I was in junior high/ high school in Texas:

  • smoking
  • drinking
  • mouthing off
  • drugs
  • teen pregnancy

My husband grew up in Northern California, and he went to Catholic school, so he had all the same issues, plus daily Mass. Speaking for myself, I participated in all the above, with the exception of getting pregnant (I’m not saying that was an accomplishment, more like sheer dumb luck. And for the record, I knew some girls that got knocked up in high school, and over the years have had friends that had one or more kids when they themselves were teens. All of them love their children and would never change a thing, but every single one of them would tell you it was hard, and that they wouldn’t suggest it to anyone). Eventually I turned out okay, but Lord help my folks had I also had a cellphone and Myspace account at the time.

Kids today have to deal with all the above issues, plus so many more. The internet, cell phones, Facebook, Twitter, texting. I mean, come on, these are not things we had as kids. Of all the stupid things I did as a teen, thankfully it didn’t include sending naked photos of myself to my boyfriend via text message. The word sexting was nonexistent in the 90s. Hell, I remember I thought I was ballin’ when my parents, out of utter frustration with not being able to make phone calls, finally sprung for a second phone line.

And please, do not get me started on reality shows and plastic surgery, both of which are as common as hiccups nowadays. I have no issue whatsoever with any adult choosing to have a nip and tuck, but teen girls wanting to change their still developing bodies and faces is ridiculous. So, yeah, I’m going to have to say it is harder to come of age today. It was hard enough when I was growing up. Now, I won’t go so far as to say gee, I’m so thankful I grew up before technology vomited all over us. I mean, I would never dream of doing it again, or being a kid in the world as it is today, but it would have been nice if someone had told me to wear sunscreen and stay the hell out of tanning beds (actually, my dad did tell me that, I just didn’t listen. Oh well).

Most of what I’ve written in this post pertains to young females, but I don’t think it’s much easier for guys. They have all the same stimulation thrown at them as girls. I just don’t think I can speak on that one with much authority, since I don’t have that equipment, a son, or a brother. So if you’re a guy or have a son and you’d like to add something, I would love to hear your thoughts too. Also, I won’t go into the parenting aspect of all this, not just because I am not one, but also because I really believe that short of moving your kids to a remote mountaintop, you simply cannot shield them from everything.

That sounds about right.

In general, I am cosmically screwed. Lots of people say this, but in my case it’s true. If someone is going to get the hair or press on fingernail at a restaurant, it will be me. It isn’t something I dwell on, or ‘woe is me’ over, nope. It is what it is. In some ways it’s a good thing. For example, no matter what, I will always get in the wrong line. There can be one person ahead of me, and it will unavoidably be the person with ‘problems’ – the one who waited until the cashier gave the dollar amount to find their wallet, only to discover they don’t have cash, and therefore must write a check, but have never, apparently, written a check before. So they ask questions like, ‘Who do I make this out to?”

Walgreen’s, you twit.

But, since I’ve accepted this will happen, it makes me much less likely to tell people they are morons, which is good. Accepting the inevitability of line fucked-upped-ness has actually made me a nicer person.

Plus, I probably deserve it.

I am a nice and considerate person, now. But in my teens and the better part of my twenties, I did enough stupid things to chalk up bad karma for what I assume is the rest of my life. So whenever I trip and fall, or run face first into something, I know it’s payback. However, I’m usually clueless as to what specific event it is for – until now.

I took Lil Stinko to the vet over her hacking, since the meds they were giving her no longer worked. The vet put her on a steroid to diminish the inflammation in her tiny lungs. Side effects, I was told, included increased appetite, increased water consumption, and seriously freaking increased urination. Holy hell in a hand basket – I am taking Stinko outside 7 or 8 times a day. And I have to pick her up, because if I don’t she will step over the threshold and pee immediately, and she gives me a look while doing it that oh so clearly says “What? I’m outside, technically, so you can’t be angry.”

The other morning she peed the second I stepped out the front door, while I was holding her. For the past several days, every morning when I wake up, the first thing I do is turn on lights and carefully check to make sure there were no accidents, and on the patterned rugs that are hard to determine if there are spots, I’m doing the shuffle walk over every inch to make sure there aren’t wet spots (anyone with a pet surely knows what I’m talking about – in the event you do find a wet spot, it’s disgusting, but there isn’t really a better way to check). It is a major pain. My life is currently ruled by a six pound pee machine.

And do you know why this is happening? Because karma is getting me back for threatening to pee on my husband’s phone. Sure it was a joke, I would probably never have done it, but karma thought it was inappropriate. So now, she’s up there, in the sky, laughing her ass off.

I’m sorry karma, really, I am.

Hell yes, it’s cocktail time!

That’s right boys and girls, Cocktail Time is back in the House of Vesta. Well, maybe not this very second, since it’s 7:30 in the morning. That would not be wise. Wait until five…or at least until noon, ya bunch of lushes!

Today’s drink was actually concocted last night, after the Novocain wore off in my man’s mouth. Two words. Root Canal. Geezy beezy, you guys know I am hella freaked out by the dentist. And because I am a big baby, I think I got my husband worked up before his appointment. Sorry about that.

Anyway, as you can see, he looks pretty miserable. And misery calls for a stiff drink, so I present you with…

Painful.

The Root Canal

  • 1/4 oz Sweet Vermouth
  • 2 oz Kentucky Bourbon (I used Bookers)
  • Splash of Ginger Ale

Fill a short glass to the brim with ice, add sweet vermouth and bourbon, splash with ginger ale, and stir.

 

Enjoy, and Happy Friday!

No, NO…oh wait, it’s all good.

Yesterday, many of you showed your frustration with the SOPA/PIPA bills by going black, displaying a link to various sites in protest of the bills, or perhaps writing a post and using your voice to speak out. I chose to not post, and also to not go online. At all.

Almost.

First, let me say how nice it was to unplug from the big bad internet for a day. Because let’s face it, thanks to Dogs on Drugs, I would have spent an inordinate amount of time looking at penis-shaped chia pets (and by the way dude, I was able to open the last link you sent…limp chia, disturbing). Instead, I got a lot of work done offline. And outside of a quick check of my email and a couple of things, I stayed offline and resisted the urge to check my blog, the news, and blah blah blah.

Again, almost. But then this conversation took place at dinner:

Husband: So no post today?

Me: (shake my head)

Husband: Yeah, I saw the little banner thing you put up about supporting SOPA.

Me: (choking on my soup) Waaa?

Husband: Support SOPA? Something like that.

I was already running to my laptop by the time he got out the words, thinking no! Oh no. Am I the only moron that downloaded the Chris Mother Fucking Dodd plugin? How could I do such a thing? Because let me tell you guys, if someone was going to do it, it would be me.

Fortunately, I did not. My husband either, a) misread it, or b) was intentionally screwing with me.

So, I hope each of you in some way protested against SOPA, and continue to do so. Chris Dodd calling out Wikipedia and Google for abusing power is a joke. Piracy sucks, yes. But the Motion Picture industry’s main concern is money. I love movies, but the film industry engages in highly questionable practices, and they get away with it. It takes a lot of people to make a movie, and most of them are hardworking folks. Make no mistake, the mass amounts of profit made by producers and studio execs don’t necessarily trickle down to the crew. And I really don’t see how this is going to stop pirated copies of movies from being distributed in China, or wherever.

There are many other organizations supporting SOPA/PIPA, but clearly the one that riles me most is the film industry. Okay, rant over.

On to better and brighter things, tomorrow Cocktail Time is back in effect. So y’all come back for Happy Hour!