Samantha Brick
I’m sure you guys either read or heard about Samantha Brick’s April article in the Daily Mail, Why women hate me for being beautiful. When it came out, I read it, rolled my eyes, and promptly forgot about it. On the one hand, it seemed a perfect Cowardly Feminist conversation piece, but on the other, I found it too annoying. Actually, I took one look at the woman’s pic and thought, could I write a post about this without saying anything mean? No, probably not. And therefore I didn’t. However, yesterday I read an article in Marie Claire, Do women hate attractive women, in which the author did try to write a piece that didn’t attack Brick. That’s commendable, but she also claimed women are above hating other women based upon attractiveness.
Wellllllll, some are. And then again, some aren’t.
Look, I’d like to believe women as a whole have risen above cattiness, but by and large they have not. How else do you explain tabloids? I once read an article with a woman that was chief editor of one of the major tabloid magazines/websites, in which she said some of their biggest sellers are those that contain terrible photos of stars. Stars without makeup, stars with cellulite, stars with their Spanx visible beneath their short dresses, and so on. People gobble it up like visual candy. My husband and I discussed this last night, and his take was that stars are so heavily made-up, lit, styled and photoshopped, that they seem unattainable and perfect. The blooper photos of them with fat rolls or whatever bring them back down to planet Earth, and people like them because it shows that famous people are just that, people. I agreed with him, but feel there’s more to it – there’s a nastiness to the thrill people get from seeing stars in a non-glorious moment. It seems that some people revel in the downfall of others, as though the loss of that outward perfection is somehow their gain. Only it isn’t. So why do people do it? What’s with all the Shadenfreude?
My husband’s answer? Because people are haters.
Well, he’s right. There are a lot of haters. Perhaps the author in Marie Claire has managed to surround herself with only the kindest people in the world. I, for one, have heard plenty of women bash their counterparts based on nothing other than how they look. Geez, all you have to do is walk into a bar or club and watch the fangs and talons flash. The viciousness is, of course, rooted in insecurity. Women tear apart other ladies to make themselves feel better, or to make their friends feel better, or whatever. Now, understand I’m not saying all females do this (thankfully). And I believe that a lot of this sort of behavior diminishes with age. However, that isn’t always the case. While reading through this post, I remembered a conversation with an old coworker. I had interviewed a young and attractive female, and as she was leaving my office, my colleague gave her the up and down, and then turned to me and said,
“God, who does she think she is? She’s wearing false eyelashes…in the daytime.”
I shrugged my shoulders and informed her that the interview had gone well, and I had already set up a second interview for the girl later in the week. My coworker couldn’t believe it, and proceeded to pick the woman apart bit by bit, from her hair, to her makeup (and eyelashes), to her wardrobe and her walk. And she did it for no reason. She hadn’t so much as spoken a word to my candidate, nor had she seen her résumé. She simply didn’t like how the other woman looked, but more than that, it was as though she was angry that the candidate had obviously put time and effort into making herself more attractive.
Which brings me back to Brick and her article, both of which received a whopping dose of criticism and nasty remarks from women. Some felt the need to tell Brick she was not an attractive woman, and some were simply pissed at her perceived smug attitude. In my opinion, it is the latter that irritated me, because really, who feels the need to write about how hard it is being pretty? Perhaps Brick truly feels she is a great beauty and is discriminated against because of it. Or, maybe she writes these articles because they attract page views, and it’s all a publicity stunt. Whatever the case, it isn’t my place to say whether or not she’s hot. My opinion is this – find me a person you feel is absolutely gorgeous, and I guarantee you someone else thinks the person is kinda fugly. It’s the way of the world, and thank goodness for that.
Tomorrow we will continue this conversation, sort of, and discuss another aspect of the tabloid conversation between my husband and I (in which I do not come off quite so diplomatic).
PS – this has nothing to do with today’s post whatsoever, but I just discovered it and feel the need to share one of the search terms that brought someone to my blog today – gigantichangingpenis. That brings me great joy.
PPS – Let’s call this week a bust in terms of schedule, since we won’t be doing cocktails tomorrow, and there was no Ask Vesta post on Monday. Back to our regularly scheduled program next week, promise! And don’t forget to send your questions to me at cowardlyfeminist@gmail.com, with Ask Vesta in the subject heading. I’ll answer anything!
Seems like trolling has broken free of the Internet. She took a nothing topic, really just a picture that would flatter no one, and framed it with deliberately outrageous assumptions. Couldn’t think of something to write, but DID get her name splashed around everywhere.
Can I get a big “Whatever”?
Don’t leave me hanging.
Agreed, whateva!
Wait, is “changingpenis” better than “unchangingpenis”?
Gigantic I get, but–
Hold on, no, I got it; never mind.
Certainly IS.
Hell yes it is. Glad you worked that one out on your own!
OK, I read the article. First it’s the Daily Mail–they set up this kind of thing all the time.
Second, it’s several photos, all of them terrible, even for Britain.
The bragging is off the scale, and the anecdotes are fake. They may even take it to the next level and reveal that the “story” was really a psych follow-up all about the reactions they got. Bunkum.
Well sure, which is why I mentioned it is entirely possible she writes this sort of crap for page views. But what is real is the response from others, and to me that was much more interesting than her ‘article’.
Hmmmm…..I agree, it’s the smugness that bothered me. And I’ll admit that when I saw her article, I did think to myself “huh. she’s not even that pretty.” But, if she wasn’t writing about how pretty she was, I don’t think I’d think about her appearance at all. I hope.
Right, no one would think twice about it, one way or the other.
How you feelin’ babe?
I am feeling better, thanks for asking!
I read this article way back when (the internet makes time move at a different pace), and what got me was that, while she was sitting there whining about how being beautiful was SOOOOOO hard, she was also detailing everything she gave up to make her man happy. I will refrain from passing judgement on her looks, but if she were truly so amazing, why did she have to give up so much of herself to snag a great partner? (note, once I stumbled upon this article, I read some of her others, so I may be mashing multiple articles together)
Okay, fine, maybe being beautiful is hard, but being willing to move to another country, give up your career, and jump through numerous medical and social hoops to have a child just to keep your man around? Don’t pretend you’re happy about that. Even if she hated her career and really wanted to be a housewife and “mum,” it still seems like she went to extremes to snag a man who doesn’t seem like all that much of a catch. While I would flip my shit at any man who ordered me to be dressed and made-up at all times, and cater to his whims, she even takes that to an extreme. Everyone has a day or two once in a while where they just want to lounge around the house in sweats and be a slug all day…but not her…NO…her DH will NOT allow that.
Do I dress up, heels and all, and cook the DH and amazeballs candle-lit dinner once in a while? Sure (I’m a good cook, definitely the best in our household, and I enjoy it). Would I entertain any notion that after working 72 straight hours on a major project I should be “pretty?” Um, nope. HE should be drawing me a bath and serving me breakfast in bed after that, and he does. He even pulls out the sleeper and crashes separately from me when I’m really under the gun (I sleep on the couch when he’s nailed at work…our couch is kinda short, and while I fit, he doesn’t). She just has a totally unbalanced view of how relationships work. I SUPPOSE it’s okay to trade looks for money, but I know I, and most other women, wouldn’t be happy with that kind of arrangement.
Yeah, when I read it at the time I skimmed through her other stuff too, pretty much all of which was ridiculous. I think it’s a gimmick (hope?). And if not, then she certainly is full of contradictions.
It’s funny that Samantha thinks she’s pretty considering the fact that she is so lopsided. Look at her in that photo: One boob!
Uniboob? Now THAT is interesting, lemme go back and look.
That sort of behaviour and attititude does diminish with age–at least in my case. When I was in my 20′s, I’m sure I loved to hack people and other women just for how they dressed/looked, but now I think that’s stupid and pointless. I don’t care what another person looks like. If they’re morbidly obese, or if they’re wearing ridiculous clothes or makeup–they’re not hurting me, so why do I care?
I read that woman’s article and found it so inane. That was the biggest problem with it. My other problem was that it almost forced me to say: ‘she’s not THAT good looking.” OH well. She started it.
How are your eyes?
I know, it WAS awful. And magazines are still writing stories about it. I guess drivel works:)
My eyes beginning to adjust, thanks for asking!!
I think nearly every woman-to-woman snarky comment I’ve heard has come from someone clearly in the middle of some insecurity issues. I can’t say I’ve never done it, but I do try to recognize my snarkyness toward another woman’s appearance as stupid jealousy when it happens. Sigh. Work in progress, or something. That said, I view the Daily Mail as the UK equivelent of Star or Enquirer in the US…take everything with a fricken shaker full of salt.
Since I’m new here (hi!) I was reading back a few posts, and was amused that the ad on the bottom (directly under your eyeball posts) said “Are you losing your eyesight?” Apparently macular degeneration was more of a match than lasik ads.
Glad to know google ads is practicing proper placement:)
I tried to read the article but couldn’t get past the opening anecdotes. I had the bizarre thought, “maybe if I worked harder on my appearance I’d get free stuff, too.” Then I figured I was way off base and not getting the point – any point, so I stopped reading.
Well then you got the gist, it really didn’t get any better than that.
Well first I will admit that I thought the same thing I’m sure you thought when you looked at that pic. Like WHUT?
I ask my students why we obsess about celebrities. Mostly because I so completely don’t give a shit. I don’t watch tv or read tabloids and it frees up so much real estate for thinking. Part of me wonders if it is either a sign/symptom of how stupid we are as a people that we gobble this shit up, or whether we are fed this to keep us stupid. It makes me sad that people ARE this stupid and don’t try any harder not to be. Imagine how different the world would be if that same audience wanted to be smarter, tried harder, and thought about better things.
Anyway, then I ask them why we love pictures of celebrities falling apart. I agree that we are haters. Hate hate hate hate. I can’t stand it. We absolutely are drawn to tragedy – tragedy being when a great one falls – and in our culture, shamefully, our celebrities are our royal “Great.”
I think tabloid rumor/bad photos of celebs are our way of indulging that nasty side – the side that centuries ago flocked to see public hangings. We are just sick.
not me, obviously. I’m superhumanly better than all this
“I think tabloid rumor/bad photos of celebs are our way of indulging that nasty side – the side that centuries ago flocked to see public hangings. We are just sick.”
EXACTLY!
A bunch of sick mo-fos.
I guess that is all to say “people” are stupid and there’s nothing worse than a mob mentality.
Huh.
I’ve never read an article and felt obligated to comment on it one way or the other, but I have to admit that I snorted a few times at the comments others left, fo sho.
I’m glad Ms Brick feels so wonderful about herself. I’m sorry she doesn’t have any friends and needs to go eat worms or something.
Meanwhile, how come *I’ve* never been comped champagne from the pilot???
Bastards.
I wondered the same thing. But I tried to tell myself the reason is that they don’t offer champagne on Southwest.