So, I’ve posted in the past about boring workouts. Mine consist of pedaling away on the treacherous stationary bike plus light weights, mixed with the occasional power walk (don’t make fun of me). I’ve looked for other things, but until recently hadn’t come up with anything good. A couple months back I was inspired by Karensomethingorother to try a workout DVD, after her series of posts about her love/hate relationship with Jillian Michaels. Yes, yes, I know. You are probably thinking Jane Fonda and leg warmers. I was too. Netflix, however, has a number of streaming workouts. After trying a couple of crappy ones, I found a boot camp workout and a cardio Pilates routine that I really liked. Sure, I probably look like a total dufus. But you know what? It goes by much quicker than pedaling away on that stupid bike, and it’s cheaper than a gym membership.
Sure, she makes it look easy, with her perky smile and perfect hair. But if you're balance-impaired like me, it isn't quite so simple.
My husband finds this amusing. And by amusing, I mean he feels the need to make a comment about the DVDs in our instant queue every single time he sees them. My response is, it isn’t Richard Simmons, Mr. Sarcasmo, so don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.
Because let me tell you something, they aren’t easy, which is the point.
I have only been allowed to go on walks since my eye surgery. No impact, nothing that will strain my eyes in any way, shape, or form. So no weights, no Pilates, just boring walks through my neighborhood (which I enjoy a couple times a week, but not every freaking day). Finally, as of two days ago I am free to exercise in any way I choose. So my husband asked what I was going to do for a workout, and I told him I planned to do the Pilates dvd. He began to spastically fling his arms and legs about, sort of like the Elaine Dance. I asked what he was doing, to which he responded,
“Pilates.”
Instead of laughing, I half got my panties in a knot and told him that was most certainly not Pilates. He said, “No?” and continued with the herky jerky motions.
I’ve watched my man workout. He languidly pedals for 20 minutes while either watching Family Guy reruns or dicking around on his phone, does an arm curl or two, and calls it a day. To be fair, it must work for him because he’s thin and in good shape – homeboy can still drink beer and eat chicken shawarma wraps every day without gaining an ounce. I don’t drink beer, or eat chicken, and I don’t even know what a shawarma is, but I guarantee that if I did, I would bloat up like a marshmallow cow.
Anyway, this morning I decided to do the boot camp video (side note, I actually think I prefer the yelling in that one to the calm and collected instructions from the Pilates lady. All I can think, as I watch her move her legs through the air with the most amazing stomach control ever, is, couldn’t you at least pretend it’s difficult?). I haven’t done the workout in several weeks, and sort of forgot the whole routine, so when we came to the dancey-aerobic-ish portion, I found myself completely out of step and flinging my arms and legs about in a most uncoordinated fashion. Guess who I looked like? Mr. Smarty Pants, that’s who. In fact, I’d say my husband’s imitation was spot on.
My only consolation was that I wasn’t doing the Pilates workout, which to be honest, wasn’t very consoling at all. Dammit.
Hahahah I’m always uncoordinated. Welcome to the club.
I have tried workout videos before and some are okay, but they’re really not my cup of tea. Now, part of that, currently, is the damn preparation. Our living room is microscopically small (our whole condo is small…2 bedrooms in just under 700 sq. ft.), so if I want to do anything in there that requires any amount of space, I have to move the coffee table (an old army trunk full of board games…it weighs a TON) and push the couch back such that you can’t open the front door more than a foot. And the area rug is only 5′ x 8′, so part of me is usually splayed out on the hardwood floor, and my dog usually jumps on my stomach mid-100. Nothing is good about this. So I pay the money for pilates, yoga, and dance in a studio. It’s not cheap, but it saves my sanity.
But on the biking front, have you ever considered getting a real bike and using it outdoors? I LOVE biking outdoors. It’s so much FUN! And you don’t even notice you’re getting exercise…there’s so much to see and pay attention to. Also, have you considered driving somewhere else and walking, instead of just doing it around your home? I’ll occasionally catch the Metro to a different neighborhood or park and just walk around, and I find that really nice. The only time it sucks is if I take my dog to a different neighborhood, and they don’t have any street trash cans there. I typically stick to parks with him, so I know I’ll have a place to deposit his deposits without carrying them around for an hour.
Don’t you hate people who don’t have to try? The DH is in GOOD shape, and goes to the gym, but it’s my guess that he could skip the gym, lay off the beer and nasty foods, and still look pretty good. Besides the gym, he whines when I suggest walking to the grocery store rather than renting a shared car, and that infuriates me since I put in so much “everyday” exercise on top of my real workouts and still have some pudge. And he’s almost 40, and I am not, and I have been like this my whole life. Totally unfair.
Oh, also, Dance Dance Revolution. I think it’s a pretty good workout, and a lot of fun. We only have to move the coffee table for that one, I can do it with friends or the DH, and it’s the only workout I can think of that you can take wine breaks while watching others get their groove on/make a fool of themselves. But be careful who you brag to about your DDR “skills.” I though for sure my one friend, a married parent of a couple of very young boys, would have absolutely no DDR game…he totally kicked my booty.
No, no real bikes for me. It’s a great idea, but I’m not a biking kind of gal. There’s actually a story there that I refuse to tell:)
When I was 13, I flipped over the handlebars of my bike while riding over 20 MPH downhill and broke 2 adult teeth, permanently scarred my lip, and road rashed my face and neck so bad it didn’t go away for over a month, on top of knocking myself unconscious for about 5 minutes. I had to go to jr. high with broken teeth and a road-rashed face for a month, earning me the nickname of “snaggle-tooth tiger,” which stuck, at least partially, until I graduated high school. I still freak out a little every time I hit a divit in the road, but I just shift my weight back and hope for the best. I told mine now you have to tell yours.
Elliptical. Best. Machine. Ever. (Besides the Sex-Bots from the movie AI.)
I would love one, but we don’t have room. I gave my husband the same excuse for the sex-bots, btw.
C’mon! You can fold up a sex-bot and put it in a large drawer, or just have it stand in the shower when not in use! Think of the sex-bots! Won’t someone please think of the sex-bots?
I know, I know, they need the work.
I’ve never tried a video and have a difficult time sticking with a workout schedule. I finally had to join a gym and schedule the times to go. I haven’t lost a pound in the last two months, but I feel great.
Yeah, I don’t work out to lose weight, but to maintain my sanity. I may hate to do it, but if I don’t then I have less energy and more blood sugar issues.
That’s great that you’ve been sticking to a schedule!!
Well, at least it’s in the privacy of your own home.
I want to join a gym with a pool so I can swim. And yet here I sit, on my couch, not joining a gym with a pool.
Oooh, I would love to swim, it’s the best workout you can do! But you know, even that probably wouldn’t get me to a gym. If I have to get in my car to do it then it probably won’t happen…too much time to talk myself out of going.
I also find most forms of exercise pretty boring. I recently learned to like swimming, because I’m too focused on not drowning to get bored.
Also, you should try shawarma.
Not drowning is certainly a good reason to stay focused!
I love that video. I usually go to the gym, but I do that workout once a week. I also do Fat Burning Pilates and SuperSlim Down by the same lady.
Finding videos that I like are tricky, but once I find one, I just keep doing.
I just put the others on my queue.
I like my workout tapes. I have that old Buns of Steel that I rediscovered while packing, but more commonly do either of two interval training tapes, or a yoga one.
That is to say, I *did* those before I moved in with my parents. I choose not to sweat all over their living room!
Well, I would imagine mowing that lawn is a good workout substitute. Just beware of the extension cords.
The one thing I can tolerate doing is getting on the treadmill and walk/running for 30-40 minutes while reading. It is the only form of exercise that I have stuck with. I love to swim, but I find it really hard to convince myself to get to a gym with a pool. Because public pools. GAH. We have an inground pool, but that is only useable for 2.5 months out of the year. I tried a boot camp once. Amost killed me. So I do what works. I do like yoga, and will work that back into my schedule soon.
I actually used to work out to Richard Simmon’s Sweatin’ To The Oldies and my ex-husband would roll around on the floor laughing at me.
So one day I challenged him to get up and do it with me. After much scoffing and flexing of muscles (he was a black belt in karate, a brown belt in aikido, and extremely physically fit) he finally got up and half-assedly began to do it with me.
Long story short, he worked up a serious sweat and got one hell of a cardio work-out and never laughed at my love for Richard again.
True story.