A few days ago the lovely and funny Dani sent me a link to this article on Nerve, which ranks Disney princesses by feminist attributes.
I know.
Don’t worry, I am not about to go all Peggy Orenstein on you. I don’t think Cinderella ate anybody.
The article reminded me of a conversation I had with an acquaintance several years ago. She was about to have her first child, a girl. One evening over dinner, the mom-to-be told me she refused to allow her child to be a princess lover. She had recently visited a friend of hers, who had a young daughter, and the kid’s entire room was pink and purple and filled with ruffle this and princess that.
“Not my daughter,” she said.
I asked what she planned to do if, a few years down the road, her kid wanted to be Cinderella for Halloween. She shook her head, adamant it would never happen. The future baby’s room, which was truly awesome in a 60s sort of way, was decorated in gender-neutral yellows and greens, and with zoo animals. The last time we saw them was for their kid’s third birthday party. It was robot-themed. Will she keep her daughter princess-free? I guess only time will tell.
If you happen to be one of those moms (or dads, dads can hate princesses too) that refuse to let her daughters have a tiara, or frilly princess dress, or watch Disney cartoons because you feel it perpetuates a patriarchal society, then that’s fine. Of course you should absolutely raise your child in whatever way you see fit in order to instill what you perceive to be the correct world views. I agree with the notion that teaching your daughter she is a special and unique princess, and that the world revolves around her is a terrible disservice to the child (and that applies to both boys and girls). It annoys me endlessly to see a child with a t-shirt that says Spoiled Princess. But regarding the cartoons themselves, so long as you teach your child that the princesses in them are make believe, then I don’t see the harm.
I completely understand the desire to teach your daughters to be strong women, and if I had a daughter I would do the same. But to be frank, I, along with many women in my age bracket and above, grew up with Disney cartoons (along with Barbie), and I turned out just fine. I’m an intelligent and capable woman. Princesses did not destroy me. If I had to chose between my child being into this:
Idolized by millions of little girls
Or this:
I would choose Cinderella, every time, because at the end of the day she’s still a princess, not some kid that goes home and tweets sexy photos of herself to her fans (and yes, I know, kids make mistakes).
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not some huge princess person. While I certainly saw the original Disney movies as a kid, I did not have dreams and illusions of being Cinderella. I was more of a Strawberry Shortcake kind of girl. I also spent an entire year telling people my name was Wonder Woman. Perhaps not the most feminist thing to do, since she wore a revealing onesie and those sexy boots and all, but come on…she was kick ass.
My childhood idol
On a completely different note – tomorrow I’m selling out. Yup. A guest editorial from Adam and Eve will appear. I was a little iffy on the whole thing, but when they sent me the content it was so ridiculous, I had no choice but to post it.
Hmmm…interesting. I LOOOVED Belle growing up, so I guess I was big on disney princesses (though I was never into a princess phase myself). I guess it’s tricky – you can be pretend princesses, or you can be bratty awful princesses. I’m fine with the first one.
I wouldn’t care if my kid were a girly girl or a tomboy, so long as she was a girl. #50/50chanceIshouldn’tHavekids
I feel the same way. #MeToo
Rainbow Brite girl here (though I was down with Strawberry Shortcake, too), but total tomboy otherwise. In contrast to this mom, I’m pretty sure my parents wanted me to be more girly. I got as far into the rabbit hole of being girly as requesting multi-colored heart wallpaper with pink trim when I got to design my own room at 9, but wanted to repaint it blue by 12. I also idolized She-Ra. Nowadays, I find skirts good for one thing: an excuse to not wear pants when I’m working in 100+ degree environments. And if they’re *just* slightly longer than knee length and have a bit of “swishiness” to them, you don’t even have to sit like a lady.
She-Ra!! Funny, I started to write about She-Ra, but decided to take it out because she really needs her own post.
I was a She-Ra, Rainbow Brite, and My Little Pony girl, too.
Heck yeah she needs her own post. You should also mention what He-Man wore…very revealing! I’m so familiar with this today because I have a broadcast “classic TV” channel that shows all the BEST cartoons on Saturday mornings, including He-Man.
I totally forgot about My Little Ponies. Yep, had a BUNCH of those!
I had barbies when I was a kid and saw all the princess movies. I had strawberry shortcakes, my little ponies and I watched wonder woman. I think of myself as a very un-girlie girl. And I have never posted sexy pictures of myself on twitter or otherwise.
And now I have boys. Who like to watch Dora, Tinkerbell, Tangled and Brave. Meh, what are you gonna do?
Ha! Well, your kids say the most hilarious things and are quite witty, so it must be working for them!!
Adam and Eve…the sex toys people? I am so confused.
Princesses. I wanted to be one. I watched all the movies, all the shows. I am a fully functioning member of society, the boss of people, not just in my house. I have been married twice, both after the age of 30. I rock. End of discussion.
I agree, you do rock:)
If your girls are going to go to daycare or school, they will eventually get WAY into princesses. Trust me, I know. My wife was adamant that there wouldn’t be Barbies, princesses, and that kinda crap. My daughter went through her Lilo & Stitch phase, and then BAM! Girly crap-o-rama.
Yeah, kids are gonna do what they’re gonna do.
I read the same article! Sure, not always the best female role models, but I watched all the Disney movies and I still turned out ok. Still, it can’t hurt to focus on the better of the bunch, like Mulan, who actually has something to offer. I noticed that the princess are getting more “feminist” as time goes on. Not to an ideal yet, but we’re getting there. As you pointed out, I have much bigger issue with idolizing pop stars. Britney Spears concert at age 6? No effing way. I just have to hope that getting the kids outdoors and teaching them to do things other than dream about prince charming will balance the princess watching.
Absolutely. I feel like the bigger danger are the reality shows, Wives of (fill in the blank). Teaching young girls to aspire to marry the ball player or music mogul or whatever is worse, in my book. Most of those stories aren’t happily ever after.
I’m honored that I finally read something Vesta-worthy!!! See? Your blog is improving my reading quality!!
Yeah… to princess or not to princess? I had boys… all of whom were into Ninja Turtles and Power Rangers, yet one year for Christmas two of them (who shall remain nameless, Kacey and Brennan) asked for a Barbie Dream House.
What can I say.
xoxo
BWAHAHAHA! I love it. I had a barbie dream house and I wanted GI Joes.
Here’s my take. I have a boy (almost 18) and a girl (19). At one point, my daughter WANTED to be princessy– and so she was. However, on her own, she grew up and grew out of that phase. She’s a straight A student, her second year in college, she’s very dedicated, holds a full time job, doesn’t party, doesn’t do drugs or drink…But she’s HERSELF. I know I’m weird and not a very good feminist– but honestly- my main goal when my kids were young was to allow my daughter (both my son and daughter, of course) to be whatever the fuck she wanted to be. I wanted her to experiment with this or that. I wanted her to investigate, try, learn…and make mistakes. I do not want to force my child to be any ‘one’ way, or another. I just want her to find herself. Telling a child that this way or that way is the ‘right way’–well that really might not be the right way at all.
“I know I’m weird and not a very good feminist– but honestly- my main goal when my kids were young was to allow my daughter (both my son and daughter, of course) to be whatever the fuck she wanted to be. I wanted her to experiment with this or that. I wanted her to investigate, try, learn…and make mistakes. I do not want to force my child to be any ‘one’ way, or another. I just want her to find herself. Telling a child that this way or that way is the ‘right way’–well that really might not be the right way at all.”
Actually, that sounds pretty damn feminist to me!!!
You beat me to it!
As always, your take is a good one:) Kids have minds of their own, and they are going to like things you hate and hate things you love. At some point you just have to let them be their own person.
I think most girls do grow out of the princess phase, and in my personal opinion it isn’t some horrible thing that will be detrimental to their futures.
Wonder Woman was my absolute idol when I was little. I also loved Snow White. Princess or Super Hero, a lot of idols are personally unattainable.
I don’t like the “this is for boys and that is for girls” constant segregation. I know princesses and things are a part of that, but I just don’t remember it being so stringently separated as a kid. Or, maybe I just liked what I liked and didn’t pay much attention, I don’t know.
I remember being highly annoyed I didn’t get GI Joes and He-Man for my birthday. I played with Barbies and She-Ra and whatever, but I wanted the ‘boy’ toys too.