It’s one of those days. I have three different posts in the works, and the attention span of three-year-old, so none of them have come to fruition.
I was having a discussion with my husband about Naomi Wolf’s newest book, Vagina: A New Biography. This led to a wildly inappropriate conversation, which I found hilarious, but would probably offend a large number of people. And while it doesn’t bother me to offend, it does bother me to think about my parents and various other family members being offended, so…
You’ll have to insert your own vagina joke.
I guess I’ll write about being all growns’d up instead, which only officially happened in the last week, at the ripe old age of 35. During our trip to Austin I found my first gray hair. I was utterly shocked, not only because I check for grays regularly and this one just appeared out of nowhere, but also because I made a deal with God for that to never, ever happen, and he totally broke his end of the bargain. So, I pulled it out, set it on my travel bag, and yelled for my husband to give him the bad news.
Oh, wait, lemme back up a minute. I set the hair atop my travel case because I planned to take a picture of it, to mark the beginning of the end and whatnot. When my husband walked into the bathroom, he picked it up and said, “It must be mine” and then he tossed it on the floor. He threw my hallmark moment on the ground, where it disappeared. Naturally, I became pissed (look, I was on the verge of tears anyway, it only snowballs from there folks), and an argument ensued. It was mostly one-sided, because if there’s one thing he’s good at, it’s completely ignoring irrational female shit.
I’m hoping the gray was a result of stress, and it was just a one time thing. It could happen, right?
Anyway, all growns’d up item number two happened yesterday. We made a budget. I am good with money, always have been. But I’ve never made a budget for myself. Prior to getting married I kept track of everything in my head. Once we tied the knot and everything became one big ‘we/ours,’ that went out the door. I haven’t thought much about it, but while trying to figure out how much we spend on a monthly basis, we realized the answer is ‘I have no freaking idea’. That’s not good. So I made a monthly budget, and because I am one militant little mo-fo when I get a bee in my bonnet about something, we will stick to the budget.
Holy crap y’all. We’re so grown up that we’re, like, one step away from having kids.