I’d like to think I’m an intelligent woman. I am both a curious person and voracious reader and therefore know a lot about a variety of things. The problem is that much of what I know is absolutely useless, so much so that I am sometimes embarrassed to know anything on the topic at all.

In part, I blame the internets for making it all too easy to search out the inane. I also blame the full moon. I have problems sleeping almost always, but a few days before a full moon and the couple days following it are the worst. I have weird dreams, wake up, and can’t go back to sleep. The other night, while trying to fall back asleep after a strange dream, a plot hole in my new project suddenly came crashing down on me. I jumped out of bed and ran to my computer in order to take notes immediately, lest I forget what I was thinking.

And that brings me to why I now know more about urine than anyone outside of the medical profession should.

While researching information pertaining to my plot hole, I came across a list on Random Facts of 99 things you don’t know about urine. This, by the way, had nothing to do with what I was looking for, and I’m not entirely sure why Google thought it was appropriate, but whatever. It didn’t stop me from skimming the entire list, and thoroughly reading about 60% of it, some of the items twice. An inordinate amount of time was spent thanking my lucky stars I wasn’t an Eskimo, wasn’t alive in pretty much any ancient civilization, and finally, hoping that I’m not reincarnated as a hunting dog.

I never did find the information I was searching for (or get back to sleep), though I now posses a number of useless facts about left-handedness, dreams, and Halloween. And, most unfortunately, I discovered you can commission a fact list if you can’t find what you want on their website. Obviously, a great deal of time was wasted pondering what I want to commission.

Damn you, internet.