For Pete’s sake.
I feel like I need to write a disclaimer before beginning this post because the last time I wrote about politics, even though the point of the post was to have tolerance and respect that we are each entitled to our opinions, I lost a few readers. Yes, a few people got their knickers in a knot, in spite of my whole tolerance message, which is sort of funny if you think about it. Anyway, before anyone gets all read-between-the-lines-y, let me save you the trouble. This is not a post about politics, m’kay?? I don’t care who you vote for or what party you belong to, really, you can be one of the two people in the country with plans to vote for Roseanne Barr. It’s about considering what you say to children.
I’m sure most of you saw the picture yesterday of the little girl crying over the elections, which is understandable. I’m sick of it too. What bothered me, however, was this quote from the child’s mother –
“She talks about Mitt Romney and Barack Obama all the time,” Evans continues to tell ABC. “She always says that Obama is the president and that Mitt Romney is a bad guy who just wants money and wants to be the president… She is very precocious.”
First, I don’t think a four-year-old child deduced that solely by listening to NPR, as her momma claimed. Second, this reminded me of something that happened to me some time ago.
Several years back I volunteered with a non-profit organization that worked with children of all abilities through art, music, and dance. The program was a year long, and culminated with a play put on by the kids, most of which were autistic, and their siblings. We met twice a week, and the program served a dual purpose, which was to give the parents a break for a couple of hours. Since they were dropping all their kids off, they could run errands, have a peaceful dinner, or sit in an adjacent room with other parents and chitchat. Win-win.
Working with children with autism takes time. A couple of kids took to me immediately, and then there were some I had to work patiently with to form a bond. And let me tell you, finally gaining a child’s trust, particularly when it isn’t easy for them to give, is a wonderful feeling.
So, at some point during the year I had gone home for a week to visit my family. When I walked into the next session with the kids, a group of parents were outside talking, and one of them asked where I was the previous week. I told them I was visiting family, blah blah blah, and that was that. Flash forward to the next meeting. Upon arrival, we’d give the kids a good ten to fifteen minutes to play, or warm up to being there, or whatever, before we began. It was almost time for everyone to get into groups, so I was rounding up kids. A young boy that had had a particularly hard time at the beginning of the year, but had grown to like attending, was in the corner fiddling with a toy. I walked up to coax him into the group. I’m not really sure how to describe his reaction towards me…it was like he recoiled from my presence. I had worked very hard to gain his trust, so I was taken aback by his reaction. I asked him what was wrong, because he also wouldn’t look at me.
“My parents said I can’t talk to you.”
“Why?” I asked.
“Because you’re from Texas. You voted for Bush.”
The child’s mother was one of the people in the group the previous week I spoke with about my trip home. Not once was politics mentioned, why would it? So, basically, this woman decided she knew my political ideology based on what state I’m from. There are 25,674,681 people residing in Texas. What did she think? We are all robots with lone stars tattooed on our asses? What the hell?
At the time, however, I wasn’t angry. I was heartbroken. She had three kids in the program, her oldest son, who was autistic, and her two younger boys. None of them spoke to me for the remainder of the year. Because I’m from Texas. And yes, that was the whole reason – she spoke to the program organizer about it. I was appalled on so many levels. I had worked hard to obtain her child’s trust, and in one fell swoop it was destroyed. Fortunately, none of the other parents cared where I was from, only that I took the time to help their children. But the entire experience was marred for me over the incident, because ultimately, this parent taught her children it’s okay to not like someone for no other reason than where the person is born. How awful. How utterly, completely awful. It’s bad enough when an adult embraces intolerance, but to pass it onto children?
Anyway, I can understand the little girl’s frustration with politics, I certainly feel it too. I can’t wait for it all to be over, so that hopefully, we can return to being rational individuals. I understand that some people are passionate about their political beliefs, and hey, there’s nothing wrong with that. But perhaps we should consider the impact we have on others when making sweeping generalization about good and evil.
I’m surprised she didn’t think you were a squirrel living in an undersea dome. (Oops, you don’t have kids so you may not get that reference. Spongebob humor, sorry.)
I had a kid in line behind me at an amusement park look at the Led Zeppelin t-shirt I was wearing, then he turned to his dad and said, “Daddy! That guy worships the devil!”
Still I don’t get too mad at people who make assumptions like that. After all, when I encounter them I automatically assume they have an IQ of 10.
Over a Led Zeppelin t-shirt?
Actually, now that I think about it, the cover of Houses of the Holy did freak me out a bit when I was a little kid.
We have a restaurant here in town that’s frequented by Mormons, and they’re easy to spot on Sunday during lunch because they really dress up for church.
Anyway, I was walking to my table when I noticed that a teenage Mormon girl was staring at my Led Zeppelin baseball jersey with a look of awe and terror in her eyes. So, of course, as we made eye contact I subtly threw the devil horns with my hand and mouthed the word “Satan!”
Hahaha, I still laugh about that. I’m such a bastard.
The Dixie Chicks are from Texas too…totally in the bag for Bush, obviously.
Ha! That goes on the list of comebacks I wish I’d thought of!
That is absolutely heartbreaking. And you know? Fostering an atmosphere of hate and prejudice aside, that woman robbed her kid of one of the few bonds he’s likely to form in his lifetime. Mother of the Goddamned Year Nominee, right there. Totally sickening.
I’m still trying to strike a healthy balance between teaching my kiddos to be cautiously wary of strangers (Mama’s been watching too many abduction specials) and something less than complete assholes. With all the mistakes I make and am bound to continue making, tolerance of ignorance will hopefully not be one of them.
“But perhaps we should consider the impact we have on others when making sweeping generalization about good and evil.”…. Brilliantly stated, Love. xoxo
I have no doubt your littl’uns are gonna turn out fantastic!!
Wow! I’d be temporarily heartbroken too. Your last sentence sums it up nicely.
Wendy!! So nice to see your smiling gravatar!
Hear, hear, friend!
I am one of those people who feel strongly about this election, but I totally agree: let’s all just be civil. And if you can’t be civil, at least don’t drag your kids into it.
(I think a friend of mine put it really well recently: “Don’t try to turn either side into a cartoon villain.”)
That is a very good way to describe it. It is cartoony – if you aren’t on my side then you must be eveeeeeeeel, bwahahaha!
So silly.
Sad, and I completely agree. The whole thing is ugly enough without encouraging your kids to hate real people over abstract arguments.
Sorry for both of you, and I’m even sorry for that parent.
What a short-sighted life to live.
That’s true, it doesn’t seem like a happy way to live.
Wow. Hating you because you are from Texas? That’s pretty crazy. I mean, I could see if maybe she saw you wearing cowboy boots and short shorts . . .
People are ridiculous. And really, having a special needs child, she should really be more concerned with how people are TREATING her son, and not what their politic views are. Whatever they may be. So sad.
Oh damn, maybe it was the cowboy boots and shorts:)
Yeah, it’s strange for someone to think that every person residing or born in a red state must belong to one party. Of course, there are folks that assume every person that lives in California wears Birkenstocks and hugs trees on the way to work every day too.
“Anyway, I can understand the little girl’s frustration with politics, I certainly feel it too. I can’t wait for it all to be over, so that hopefully, we can return to being rational individuals.”
What makes you think that most people in their natural state are rational individuals?
American political ideology is really just a secularization of religious cults. This is just a continuation of a repeating pattern of human behavior throughout history. Things aren’t going to get better after the election, or ever — not until we evolve into a different species. The political rhetoric in Adams vs Jefferson was even worse than it is today. (And back then they would even shoot each other in duels!)
I recommend just staying out of the political kitchen if you don’t like the crazy heat of American’s hypomanic edge politics. Recent article of mine at PJM related to the subject: http://pjmedia.com/lifestyle/2012/10/26/why-this-election-year-america-is-nurse-jackie/
Also related to your post, progressives are more intolerant than conservatives on social networks (and in life in general) http://pjmedia.com/tatler/2012/03/13/science-liberals-are-far-more-intolerant-than-conservatives-and-moderates/
Because getting defriended is like totally the same thing as Jim Crow laws.
I need a Bondo app for my phone.
*downloads iOS programming kit*
Ugg, I will never understand some people. I am certainly passionate about my beliefs, but I know not everyone will agree. You can’t expect to not speak to everyone that disagrees with you. Or you’re really going to be lonely. I could understand if you were constantly telling the kids about Satan or something, but this is ridiculous. I’m from Missouri, does that mean I support Akin’s comments on rape. Um, no. Generalizations like that just don’t work.
As for the girl, she’s certainly learned things from her parents. Which is not always a bad thing. But again, expose your children to more. My little brothers were very anti-Obama thanks to some comments (yep, back in Missouri) so I made sure they heard my side of the political spectrum. Don’t know which way they’ll turn as they continue to grow up, but I refuse to let them only hear one idea.
Holy. Cow.
That kills me. It really does.
Actually, it stirs within me a desire so slide into a state of total rebellious apathy. The more you don’t care, the more they froth.
How sad. And it’s really sad that something like that can dampen someone’s enthusiasm for volunteering, and for what? So pointless.
My grandmother’s paperboy quit giving her decent service once she hung an American flag on her front porch. Not because he didn’t like the flag, but “Knew her type.”
To him, that flag signified several things, including a hatred for people with long hair like his.
She was hurt that it was seen as anything more than a love for her country.
That’s awful. Sadly, there are many ignorant people out there.