My voice sounds as though my entire head is stuffed with cotton. I actually read that’s what they do after nasal surgery, pack your cavities with yards of gauze. But my surgeon said that is no longer the case, now they put an expandable sponge up each side, what he all too gleefully referred to as ‘nose tampons’. Fantastic.
Anyway, as predicted, no post yesterday. Sorry to deprive you of a drug-induced rant. I’m even more sorry I had such a conniption fit over the drugs, that the anesthesiologist decided to only give me the bare minimum of pain medications.
They looked like ace bandages with a rubber tread. Hot stuff.
As you already know, I got myself all worked up over what nonsense might come out my mouth. I refused the pre-surgery, calming cocktail IV, which was fine because my husband spent the half hour before hand in the room with me, making me laugh my ass off. He’s good like that. Unfortunately he’s also good at taking photographs of everything, hence the lovely shot of the, oh so sexy, surgical socks they put on me.
At any rate, for all my worry over blurting out weird and inappropriate things, I was far more freaked out over getting sick. My stomach is sensitive to anesthesia and narcotics, and the last thing I wanted was to puke, which is never fun, but seemed an even more daunting prospect given my nose would be packed solid. The potential for disaster was high. So, after hearing my nervousness over it, the doctor went very light with the meds, and so did the nurse in recovery.
Holy crap, did I ever screw myself, because yesterday was fucking painful. And because I waited too long to take any vicodin, it didn’t really do much for me, which meant I was up most of the night. Have you ever gotten chlorine up your nose before? It burns, right? Well this feels like that sensation times fifty, paired with getting repeatedly punched in the face by a gorilla. Awesome.
The point is, today I am feeling less like death, which I can tell because I’ve been pondering whether the nasal surgery is going to sharpen my super power, or, egads, destroy it. Tomorrow I’m going back in so they can pull the tampons from my nose, and you’d better believe I will make sure I’m good and drugged up this time, because it’s supposed to be painful. Who knows? Maybe you guys will get your whacked out rant after all. For now, however, I’m going back to sleep.
I’m glad you’re out of the procedure ok but sorry you didn’t enough of your drugs!
I hope it doesn’t improve your superpower, I know you spend a lot of time with scarves smooshed against your nose already.
I do rock the smooshed scarf look all too frequently.
Surgery sucks! So sorry! …..seriously sh***y sensations surrounding sedation.
Ok I started off in a meaningful way and then it just Sounded Stupid….. I can’t Stop….
I’m glad you are out. But man, that kind of pain is awful. Still, I hurled for 6 hours after I got all 500 of my wisdom teeth pulled. It was Scary.
Ack! Six hours of hurling?!? See, that is what I was afraid of, I am not cut out for that.
I LOVE the surgical socks. The last time I got some, I tried swiping more by taking them off and asking why I didn’t get any.
In Phoenix during the summer, it’s freaking hot out, so sandals are the norm. Then you get inside, and it’s in the lower 70′s, and your feet are freezing. So I wore the surgical socks until they wore out. Toasty warm, nice grip so you don’t slip like a doof on the floor. What’s not to love?
(accepts bribe from surgical sock industry lobbyist)
By ‘tried’, I guess the nurse wasn’t buying it?
She said, “What happened to the ones I gave you?” I laughed and told her that I was just trying to get extras because I love me some surgical socks. So I was unsuccessful in swiping them. But she went right out and got me two more pairs.
UGH I’m sorry you’re feeling so crappy! Get better
My stepmom had the same surgery about a year ago, and the post-surgical procedure where they took all the crap out of her nose was WAY more painful than the surgery itself! They will be putting a LOT of pressure on your nose, so take ALLLLLL the drugs!!!!
Say yes to the drugs definitely ended up being my motto that day:)
rant! rant! rant! rant! I know, what a rabble rouser… he he he he. With the sexy socks on and the nose tampons in. And I want pictures! Who’s with me?
Nope, all you get is the socks!! Actually, the man didn’t take any pics of my balloon face. Perhaps he didn’t want to remember.
All the after school specials got it wrong. Just say Yes to drugs.
Yep, those stupid after school specials really screwed me.
Bastards.
Well, I will say that I was sad to see no post from you yesterday. I mean, come on, Vesta!! What good are you but for our entertainment purposes? Pfft!
I am glad to hear the surgery went smoothly and that as far as you know, there were no inappropriate blurtings. But I am not happy to hear you didn’t get yourself all drugged up! I understand your concerns, obviously, but seriously girl, that’s what those things are there for . . . so you aren’t writhing in pain for the entire day after. Jeesh!
Good luck with the extraction. And TAKE THE DRUGS. And ask for another pair of socks. I still have mine from when I had my babies. They are awesome.
Really? Do you actually wear them, or are they for sentimental purposes only?
I think you were wearing those socks upside down. The grippy part is supposed to be on the bottom.
Always take the drugs afterward. ALWAYS.
I cannot stand anything being up my nose. I hyperventilate in yoga classes where they try to get us to do pranayamamananamamamaaaaa which is this breathing exercise where you block one nostrile, breathe in, then block the other nostrile, breathe out, and so on. Makes me want to punch people. Which seems counterproductive to the whole yoga thing, so I just pretend I am doing it. THAT’S RIGHT YOGA INSTRUCTOR. I AM PRETENDING.
Hope you feel better today, and good luck tomorrow with the tampon removal. GET THE DRUGS.
I thought the grippy part was on both sides. It’s entirely possible, however, that I did put them on wrong. Sadly, I already admitted to turning down the pre-surgery drugs, so I have no excuse for not knowing which way was up.
I have missed so much of your story lately! Okay, so surgery went well, but painful recovery, and you’re having tampons removed tomorrow. Ouch.
The closest thing to surgery I’ve had was a wisdom tooth pulled. Everyone thought I was crazy to go back to work, but I did, for just a bit to wrap things up, then went home and cursed all that’s living when the painkillers wore off!
Well hello Red!
Oh you poor girl- I appreciate the refusal of drugs situation, you are forgiven. What surprised me is that once you refused “the good” stuff, that you didn’t get a dose (of anesthesia or Vicodin) as regularly prescribed in other states. I would assume California Doctors interpret “I don’t want drugs” as “Oh, ok, she doesn’t want a morphine or propofal” but never would short sheet you on the Vicodin. Its that damn Conrad Murray… asshole kills MJ AND ruins the valley of the dolls for the rest of us.
Feel better!
I did fill a prescription for vicodin, I just thought I could get by without using much of it. For some reason I thought I was tough enough. I’m not. But yeah, no morphine for me, thanks!
poor you, Vesta! I hope you feel better soon