So, I enabled comment moderation a while back as a way to deal with an unpleasant troll. Other than that, I don’t censor. However, a couple of days ago, I received a notification to approve a comment, and it was from someone pleading the case for camel toe. Long time readers know it became my job somewhere along the line to educate folks on why women shouldn’t flash that thing. I’m not sure how it happened, maybe I just got in on the ground floor of the whole leggings are not pants thing.
Anyway.
The comment was hilarious – in a nutshell the guy said women shouldn’t stress about it because men don’t mind CT. Frankly, I’m not so sure about that. I mean, it’s basically a front wedgie. If I see a dude with a regular wedgie, I’m going to be at least a little embarrassed for him, and I would imagine guys feel the same way, but who knows? I could be totally wrong. I was about to approve the comment when I noticed his url. I won’t go into detail, but his entire website was dedicated to camel toe, and the first thing that popped up was a workout video in high speed. As you probably guessed, the poor woman had a gnarly case of the front wedgie. Like bad. And because I am immature, I began laughing hysterically, which brought my husband into the room. Each photo or video was worse than the next, and we cackled like old ladies, because marriage is nothing if not a lifetime of laughing at stupid shit with someone.
At any rate, I did not approve the comment. First, my blog gets flagged as containing inappropriate content enough as it is, and secondly, I have no way of knowing if the ladies on the website consented to have their images shown. It’s hard to tell these days, my instinct is to say of course they didn’t, but chicks are forever posting suggestive and half nekkid pics of themselves on facebook, so for all I know every image was self submitted. On the other hand, if they were submitted without their knowledge, then shame on me for laughing.
All this got me to thinking, how could any of them not be aware their vaginas were consuming their clothing? Aside from the fact that I don’t wear toe-inducing garments, I always do a once over prior to walking out the door. Front and back in a full length mirror. Always. My husband mocks me endlessly over it. After I check my backside, he will saunter up to the mirror, do a half turn, and stick out his butt in imitation of me. I’ve explained to him on numerous occasions that I’m checking to make sure I don’t have a sock stuck to my ass, or, god forbid, a hole in my pants. A quick looksy in the mirror before trotting out into the world prevents all sorts of embarrassment.
Well, not always. Once, my husband and I had just walked into World Market to pick up some wine on a weekend afternoon. It was summer, and I had on my favorite white halter dress. We were maybe fifteen steps into the store when a woman gently grabbed my arm and told me the lining in my dress was tangled. Obviously, the first thing I did was reach back to check, and by tangled she meant it had completely ridden up, leaving nothing but a very thin white material between my ass and the world. The second thing I did was thank her for telling me, to which she responded, “I wasn’t sure if I should say anything, but I figured I’d want someone to tell me.”
Immediately I dragged my husband away to find an abandoned corner in order for me to get my dress situated. Incidentally, completely unrelated to this post my husband mentioned that dress several days ago, as it was a favorite of his. You want to know why I don’t wear it anymore, babe? The same reason I will probably never wear a white dress again, fear that you will not notice if I’m inadvertently flashing the world.
Where am I even going with all this? Oh, right, moderating the camel toe comment. Maybe none of the women on the website were aware what was going on down there. For all I know, there’s a website with a pic of me, wandering around with the lining of my dress wrapped around my waist, showing my backside.
And if one of you happens to come across that, don’t bother to tell me, I don’t want to know.
Ha! I’m not surprised it’s a fetishy thing. (Maybe fetish is too strong a word…it could be a mainsteam thing for men to like?) Either way, a bit weird for me.
Oh. You don’t want to know.
Ok, never mind.
Ignorance is bliss.
Apparently rocking ‘toe is hot now.
I’ll pass on that trend:)
I KNEW I had seen you before!! It was that crazy website showing barely covered asses. Oh man, how embarassing . . .
I mean, what dress? I don’t even know what you’re talking about.
And yeah, good call on the not approving that comment. I don’t think that would have been helpful in any way. Those poor women.
Oh, and just FYI . . . one of the top searches on my blog today is “leggings cameltoe.” So apparently, you are not the only one. Goody.
Oh yay!
I wear leggings, I think they are the best thing to happen in fashion but, I do the turn around and check thing a dozen times, and check again after I leave the toilet just to make sure I havent got some bit of my very long blouse/tshirt stuck in the top of my leggings, flashing my behind.
And I can think of another thing Mirrors are good for!
Leggings with a tunic or longish sweater or whatever don’t bother me in the slightest, it’s a good look. Leggings with a belly t-shirt, on the other hand? Especially when the leggings are see through? Not such a good look. Just yesterday I saw a woman crossing the street with a short shirt and green leggings that were really tights, so you could see every detail of her blue underwear.
Re: mirrors. Yes indeedy
Camel toe, fashion hideous though it may be, is suggestive of nakedness, to which guys have no defenses apparently. It’s like watching a movie and going “wow, this is horribly sexist and objectifying, but she is pretty.” There is no intellectualization that will stop the latter.
No defenses at all? I prefer to give men more credit:)
Okay, that’s both funny and scary. I’m not sure why anyone would want to flash CT to the world, but…I guess some things will never have an explanation. At all.
Yeah. Camel toe, parachute pants, some things defy logic.
Guys say they don’t mind camel toe? Clearly they haven’t seen Lipo-lady’s camel toe. No, really. I have been trying to write a funny post on plastic surgery in So Cal, and in my research I came across a woman who, after having had lipo, grew an elephant-titis styled camel toe. True story, and horrifying. According to the “doctors” its because if you suck fat cells out from one place, but continue to eat like a sow, new fat cells will grow in unexpected places. yes, this should have been the crux of my plastic surgery post, but I could not bring myself to force that picture on my three readers.
Now aren’t you glad for comment moderation?
I refuse to google that. Re. Fuse.
You totally need to do a So Cal plastic surgery post. Hell, that could be a month long series.
I’m always afraid of inadvertently having one since I have a very active job that involves a lot of bending down, and I like stretch denim. That is a part of me that I really, really don’t want to show the world. Good for you that you refused to publish the comment and the link.
The students are back on campus this week, and we are all considering instituting a fine for the improper use of leggings. I have seen exactly one woman wearing leggings like they were invented specifically for her ass. She had the best ass I have ever seen. She had the whole look down with the short black jacket and high heeled ankle booties. I wanted to stop her and present her with the You are the Only Person Allowed to Wear Leggings Ever commondation. But in the cereal isle at the grocery store seemed like a weird place for this ceremony.
I have occasion to wear ‘toe-inducing clothing…AS AN UNDERLAYER. I play outdoor sports from late-March to mid-November (even sometimes late-November or early-December, depending on whether we have no, some, or numerous weather-related cancellations) and HEATR tights are the greatest thing since sliced bread when you’re going to be spending 2-3 hours outdoors in cool to freezing temps. However, I FIRST wear these under looser garments and SECOND, well, can actually kind of feel the ‘toe. It’s called a front wedgie for a reason. I SUPPOSE the HEATR tights are thicker than your average leggings, but how do you not feel fabric invading your ‘nether regions???
I cannot speak for all guys, but I can say that it is NOT true that guys don’t mind. I believe I find it just as appalling as most women do. It’s just not attractive. Some may like it, but not all.
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