A week ago Alisa Valdes’ memoir, The Feminist and the Cowboy came out to not so stellar reviews. Before I jump into today’s topic, let me say that, 1) I did not read the memoir, 2) I did read several reviews of it, and the gist of it is that she renounced second wave feminism in order to embrace her new found femininity brought about by her submissive relationship with a real-life cowboy (wow, that was a mouthful), and 3) days after the book was released, she published a post on her blog that her cowboy angel was really an abuser – she is now in a new relationship. That post has since been removed by Valdes.
Holy crap. If the intention was to generate publicity, then I think she did it, and kudos to her. Actually, I kind of hope that’s what she was going for, otherwise what a freaking disaster. If in fact she was abused by her ‘cowboy’, then that’s awful, and I’d like to give the finger to the guy. Way to fuck it up for the other cowboys in the world, dude. Real men don’t abuse women.
Anyway, the whole thing is rather complicated and messy, so if you’re interested in reading more, then check out yesterday’s article in The Atlantic by Noah Berlatsky.
I’ve read a number of posts and reviews ripping Valdes a new one over her book and subsequent post. Frankly, I don’t care whether or not she did an about face on feminism. She’s a grown woman and entitled to make her own choices. What bothered me had nothing to do with the cowboy, or her new found views on feminism – what I’d like to know is, why is Valdes hatin’ on Prince?
“They want to be men, but hate themselves for wanting to be men, so they push it all down and act like freakin’ Prince,”
Um, waaaaa? First, I have never known a single man who ever acted like Prince, either purposefully or by accident. Because really? How do you even begin to imitate the artist formerly known as? Oh, and I forgot to mention she also threw David Bowie into the mix (and THAT is where she really lost me. Even in his bizarre Ziggy Stardust days, Mr. Bowie was one hot mo-fo) . Okay, sure, both men have been known to sport a face full of cosmetics and wear glittery jumpsuits (and there was that rumor about Bowie and Jagger, which, given the propensity of both men towards Amazonian super models, I’m not inclined to believe. And if it did happen, who cares?) But Prince and Bowie are also unquestioningly talented. Even if you don’t care for either man’s music (and if so, what’s wrong with you?), it’s difficult to deny their musical gifts. They are artists, the glitz and glamor is part of the performance.
From what I gather, Valdes takes issue with the so-called ‘feminization’ of men. I get it, it’s a hot topic and one that’s been beaten into the ground lately. I’m not so certain the trend, if indeed there is one, was begun by Prince. And as my husband pointed out, Prince and Bowie have very likely had more ladies than the manliest cowboy on planet earth. Is Prince feminine? Yeah, he’s a pretty little man if I do say so myself. I’d love to know his skincare routine. But I wouldn’t discount his manhood solely based on his flawless complexion. Have you seen any of his ex-ladies? Hot stuff, all of them.