Dude, every night this week I’ve dreamed of either hair, bananas, or both (don’t ask about that last one).
I believe I mentioned a couple of weeks ago I was thinking about dying my hair, and I am next week. I was really psyched about it at first, but as my appointment comes closer, I’ve started to stress. Yes, I know, it’s just hair. But that’s what I said when I chopped it all off a year and a half ago. Did y’all happen to notice there was about a year-long period of no photos of me?
Yeah, that would be because short hair does not suit me. At all.
But with color you can always go back, so what’s the big deal, right? Yet my mind remains unconvinced – I keep having dreams where the stylist dyes it the wrong color, or the right color but it falls out in clumps. Yesterday afternoon I had lunch with a friend, and I told her I was dying my hair. She proceeded to tell me she kinda sorta did an ombre with hers, “but it’s patchy,” she exclaimed. Her hair, by the way, was gorgeous and not at all uneven, but apparently her words stuck with me, because last night my latest hair debacle dream was that I dyed my hair, and the stylist sat me down in front of the mirror to show me her handiwork, which, to my horror, was red polka dots. In my hair. Guess what I said in my dream? It looks patchy.
And that brings me to bananas. Well, bananas and spiders.
I’ve discussed my extreme dislike for bananas previously. I was fine with them until I spent a summer in a remote area where the daily diet consisted of rice, beans, and bananas. It ruined my appetite for those items foreva.
Anyway, a few months ago I sucked it up and started eating bananas again. For quite some time I’ve had a bad case of restless legs at night. It sounds silly, but anyone who has ever experienced the shaky leg can tell you that it sucks, and makes it very difficult to sleep. In my search for some sort of holistic fix for the issue, I came across a lot of stuff that said sometimes the problem can be solved with an increase in potassium, and many people suggested bananas over a supplement as it works better. The good news is, it works. The bad news is, I hate bananas.
I hate spiders so much more though. I am deathly afraid of them, as in, I have had spider nightmares as far back as I can remember.
So, a couple of weeks ago I saw a headline that read something like, ‘Woman finds deadly spiders in bananas she bought at supermarket’. Logic told me not to click on it, because I know myself and that shit would totally mess with my head. As you can probably guess, I clicked on it. Because I am an idiot, and a glutton for punishment. There were pictures. Awful, awful pictures. I refuse to look up the article to link to it, so for those of you that just have to see, google it yourself. The point is, I decided then and there to boycott bananas.
Three days later the shaky leg kicked in, but it was cool, I could take it. After a few days of sleep deprivation, however, I realized I had to make a choice. I could take potassium supplements, but I try to avoid supplements when a food source is readily available, and you don’t want to over do it on potassium anyway, and blah blah blah.
Bananas won. I gingerly picked up a few at the market, certain that at any moment, the entire display of fruit would explode, and millions upon millions of spiders would spew forth, devouring me. My imagination is as vivid as my dreams, did I mention that? Anyway, I can’t stop thinking about the bananas in my kitchen, and the possibility of spiders, and the two are infecting my dreams.
Spidery, hairy banana dreams. It is not a good combination.