*Forewarning, this post totally got away from me.

So, going back to the tabloid discussion I had with my husband a couple days ago, in which we spoke about stars and haters. The specific example my husband used during our conversation was Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan. I am a little ashamed of my initial response, which was,

“Yeah, but they kinda deserve it. You don’t go around flashing your vagina to the paparazzi and expect to be treated kindly.”

Well, well, well, I might be a wee bit judgier than I’ve led you to believe.

I guess when I was thinking of stars that people love to hate, it was more along the lines of, oh, say, Jessica Biel, or Jennifer Aniston, or someone. I’m sure both of these women have had a slipup or two, I mean, who wouldn’t when cameras surround you constantly? But I’m not sure theirs are intentional. Going out clubbing all night long with a short dress and no bra or panties, however, is pretty fucking deliberate. Seriously, if you know you are going to be stepping in and out of cars all evening, with cameras flashing all over the place, donning undergarments should be a given. And if you choose to say, “To hell with panties, I’m showing the world my cooch” then you should be prepared for backlash. To be honest, I can’t really think of one good reason to go out sans underwear, particularly while wearing a short skirt. Do you want your bits to inadvertently come into contact with a barstool sat upon by hundreds, possibly thousands of people? I sure don’t. So, modesty aside, germs are high up there in the pros list for wearing panties.

I used to have a friend that consistently went commando when going out at night. And I know this because she made it a point to tell people. In fact, I saw her boobs more times than I could count, because she would flash her girls at the drop of a hat. She frequented bars and clubs without undies every week, and freely told guys she flirted with about her little ‘secret’, and also went home with a lot of those dudes. I would describe her as a free spirit. She was tons of fun, and an evening out with her was sure to be wild. The no panties and willingness to sleep with virtual strangers was…just the way she was. I am not saying there’s anything wrong with that, if that so happens to be the life you chose for yourself. However, for most of the time I knew her, she really, really wanted a boyfriend. Like a real deal, permanent dude in her life. Monogamy. Kids. The whole nine yards. And she could not understand why things never seemed to work out with the guys she hooked up with, or at least, not for long. It is my opinion the reasons probably started with the fact that she met them without drawers on, thus leaving them with one less thing to take off of her a few hours later.

I would imagine at least a few of you are fuming right about now. Understand that I am not saying she, or anyone for that matter, shouldn’t sleep with whomever she chooses. All I’m saying is that informing your flirtation for the evening that you aren’t wearing panties, and then throwing down and getting nekkid a short while after is probably not the best way to begin a lasting relationship. I’m not saying it’s impossible, but…

Whether it’s a fair judgment or not, I think forgoing panties is slutty, not sexy. Maybe if you were going out with your partner, and decided to do so to make things exciting, then okay I can see that. But should it be part of your introduction when you meet people? No. Put on drawers. There’s something to be said for keeping a little mystery, a little anticipation. And how can you have either of those things if your shit is hanging out there for public viewing?  Save a little something for the unveiling, you know what I’m saying?

And now, finally, we get to the heart of this post. Sexy vs slutty. I’m sure the choice to go commando is seen as sexy to some. My interpretation, obviously, is decidedly different. But of course, my personal view is only an opinion. When I think sexy woman, I think Monica Bellucci, not Lindsay Lohan, which is funny, because a google image search for Bellucci brings up a whole host of provocative and sultry pics. Yet somehow, in my mind, there’s a difference (aside from the whole drunken mess thing). And speaking of hot messes, Marilyn Monroe was a bit of a train wreck, had substance abuse problems, and posed nude. However, I would say she managed to walk the sexy side of the line.

And that, my friends, is how I came to spend the afternoon pondering the fine line between slutty and sexy.  I sat down to write this post about a dozen times, tapped out a few sentences, and then got interrupted by something. Each time I sat back down, I had a new thought in my head. When I got to Monica Bellucci, that of course made me think of Vincent Cassel. I decided to throw in the towel, because I could probably write an entire post about his odd appeal, and this was a post about ladies, not men. Maybe we’ll discuss that next week…

Happy Friday y’all. Go forth and have a sexy weekend. Or a slutty one, whatever works for you.